Original Release: NVision, PC, 1999
Other Releases: DS / GBA (Ignition, 2005)
Quite possibly one of the worst bowling games ever made.
Elf Bowling 1 & 2 (Nintendo DS, Ignition, 2005)
Where to Buy: Amazon
How to Emulate: coming soon!
As soon as you fire the game up and are greeted by elves monotonously chanting “Elf Elf Baby” over and over again punctuated by random fart noises, it should be abundantly clear that you just wasted your money.
Elf Bowling is the kind of thing that passed for brainless Web-based entertainment back in the “Bin Laden in a Blender” era around the turn of the millennium, but how someone finagled a publisher into actually putting this on a cartridge I’ll never know. They’re both extremely simple Flash games — Elf Bowling 1 has Santa murdering his elves at the bowling alley for some reason, while Elf Bowling 2 is basically shuffleboard where Santa slides a smaller, almost naked Santa along ice. In the first game you simply tap to stop a horizontal bar to aim your shot, while in the second game hold the stylus to have Santa pick up the mini-me Santa, slide right and left to position him then let go at the opportune time.
Other than the juvenile failure at humor and the annoying sound effects, they aren’t horrifying games, just way too amateur and simplistic to be selling at retail. I wouldn’t even sell these as digital downloads for $1 let alone bother putting them on cartridges.
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